I was perusing Facebook last night while holding my sleeping little angel and came across this beautiful and evocative song. (I immediately bought her album. It's wonderful!)
I was wishing that I was outdoors surrounded by women, circling a fire, celebrating the full moon as was done in days gone by.
Having a little girl has really awakened my need to connect to the earth. I want her to know this history of ours. Of women. This belonging in the natural world. I want her to know where to go to get grounded and find clarity. I want her to feel how easy it is to breath more deeply when you're standing if a forest, in the desert or on the shores of the worlds oceans. I want her to seek this quiet whenever she is in need of guidence. I want her to know how to look within!
Of course, I need to find my own stillness. I need to teach by example. It is the only way to teach after all! It has been very hard for me to find this space, this stillness. Since becoming a mother I have really done battle with my old friend worry. I know that this is perhaps the lot of all mothers everywhere. Or maybe it was the way we started our journey together, she and I. The NICU doesn't lend itself to earthy bonding between mother and child.
Now that things are more calm.
As calm as they can be with a little one who is a year and a half.
She is healthy and growing and we are settling into each other, mother and child.
I want to share this with her!
After putting the little one down in her crib, I went outside and lay down in my backyard and tried to soak up as much of the moon as I could.
This is not always easy when you live in a city.
I was laying on cement (I can't wait to redo our backyard!) and I could hear the traffic roaring by.
Not ideal for a moon bath.
But, every now and again, for a second or two, I forgot about the cement.
The traffic sounded - almost - like the soft roar of the waves crashing on the shore.